Mood: still pensive
Thanking God stuff today: good coffee is really good and it is definitely a gift from God; my cat is really cute; bravery when I need it; wisdom when I need it; smarts

nuff said…

Well, the pensive mood continues. I had to interrupt it for a final in Hebrew Exegesis this morning and for ever so exciting Excel cutting and pasting at work, but it continues nonetheless. This Sunday at the Gathering, we’re going to talk about what the college ministry should look like (“we” being the students and the leaders). It will be interesting to see the results.

Anyhow, I gotta go catch a bus…

I’m in one of those pondering moods again. There’s some stuff going on in ministry—rumblings of discontent and/or excitement—and it’s hard to know which is which. If the sound is rumblings, I wonder at the cause. Is it them? Is it me? Is it something else? Is it a mixture of all three? Who knows. I can only deal with me—at least directly. One of my big issues is my own personality. There is a lot about ministry that requires one to be personable—I’m not. It often requires one to be gracious—I’m not. It requires one to be fun-loving—I’m not.

This is not to say that I do not like people—I like people. In fact there are a number of people I like a whole lot and I get along with most—really. I’m just not mushy. Never have been.

This is not to say that I lack grace. I give lots of grace, but apparently not in the format most expect—whatever that means. I think some people—sometimes me—think that being gracious is being nice. It’s not. Graciousness is giving favor. It is treating people as those made in God’s image, yet weakened by sin.

This is not to say that I dislike fun. I like fun. I just don’t want to have to plan it; in fact there are times—maybe most times—when I have the most fun observing the fun of others.

I guess the real question is whether these assumptions—my assuming what is required of me in ministry—whether these assumptions are valid. Frankly, I don’t know. You tell me.

The other issue is that I work with college age. I assume they are adults, while others assume they are youth. I realize some college age are a bit far from living out their new found status, but I see my job as at least nudging them in that direction. That being the case, I assume that the group will be primarily led by students—not by me. I’m there as a sort of short-order cook/trail guide/compass person—frankly, it is quite sufficient a task. The culture, though, expects college ministry to be like high school ministry, where the adult leaders do lots of the work and the students do some of the work. I truly believe it should be just the opposite in college ministry. The students should do most of the work and the “adult” leaders should do some of the work.

So back to the original issue. Since God has presumably gifted the students and the leaders, and since the ministry is a “church” (in the body of Christ sense), is it not likely (not just possible, but likely) that God wants all the ministers—student and leader alike—to BE the ministry? Seems to me the answer is yes. The question is, though, what do I do in the mean time—until the students get their ministry legs. How do I become more like Christ and do the work of ministry even though my personality balks?

Time to ponder…

Well, I sent my first instant message today, thus completing another step in my efforts to become more up-to-date—even if ever so slowly. I won’t post my screen name here, but if you know me—online or in person—feel free to email and ask for it—call me paranoid… oh well.

Yesterday the new freshmen experienced their first “Laura-style” Sunday School lesson (on “Church as Relational Community: body, flock, temple), complete with playdough sculptures (pictures of which are posted on the YAM FotoLog).

I'm thinking of leading the students through Genesis 1-11 in a month or so. Anyone out there have resources?